God’s Providence

Romans 8:28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose

To see God’s hand in this situation, and to understand His timing, you need to know a little background information as well as the circumstances.

The background

In a previous post I wrote about a time when the company my husband worked for closed and he became unemployed. That was in February 2002. See What Do God and A 2-Year-Old Have in Common. Although he quit smoking in 1995, in 2000, after a bout of double pneumonia the first small spots of emphysema showed up on his x-rays. By the time he became unemployed in February 2002 his condition had progressed to severe C.O.P.D. (Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease). Prior to his unemployment the company’s group health insurance covered his medical expenses.

Because he was a Veteran of the Vietnam War, he was eligible for V.A. medical benefits. Unfortunately, at that time the V.A. had an extremely poor reputation and he really didn’t want to go there when he lost his insurance coverage. He was confident that it wouldn’t take him long to find another job; so, we decided to pay for his prescriptions ourselves.

The company he eventually went to work for in Texas had been trying for years to recruit him. But, my response was always, “I haven’t lost anything in Texas. There’s nothing in Texas but sand and sorry water. They don’t even have real trees; just short scrubby stuff.” My parents and siblings lived in Alabama and I wanted to go somewhere closer to them. So, he didn’t initially apply with that company.

By the end of April, we were running out of cash and he was force to go to the nearest V.A. hospital and apply for benefits. About two weeks after he applied he received a letter informing him that he was approved for benefits, but his benefits would not begin until he was evaluated by a V.A. doctor. They had scheduled an appointment for him the second week of June. Also, by the end of April, he had applied with every company that would have taken us closer to my family, and it was time to reach out to the company in Texas.

Since his job in Texas started the first of June he cancelled the appointment with the V.A. doctor where we were moving from. Since his coverage with the company’s group health insurance took effect immediately, he didn’t pursue getting benefits where we moved to.

The situation

In the past my husband had observed a situation where a co-worker developed a serious health issue. The company made the necessary adjustments to accommodate the needs of that employee, as required by law. However, the first time that employee made a mistake, even though it was minor and would have been overlooked had anyone else made the mistake, management made a big deal of it and used it as “reasonable cause for dismal” and fired the employee, which meant he lost both his health insurance and his retirement benefits.

From the time he began the job in Texas, his condition was sever enough that he knew his life expectancy was only a few more years. He was determined to work as long as he possibly could in order to leave me in the best possible financial position when he died. So, he went to great lengths to prevent anyone at the company from knowing about his health, and he worked way past the point that most people would have quit.

Initially, he got up at 5:00 to be ready to leave at 6:00 to get to work by 7:00; although he didn’t have to be there until 8:00. It had long been his habit to get to his office an hour early to have a quiet time with Lord before starting work. See God’s Peace. Now, it was critical for him to get there early for 2 reasons. One, so that he could be sure of getting the parking space beside the front door. And two, so that he could be at his desk and breathing normally when everyone else arrived.  As time went by and his condition progressed he had to get up earlier and earlier because it took him longer and longer to get ready to go. Eventually, he was getting up at 3:30.

He needed to be on oxygen 24 hours a day, but there was no way to do that at work. He kept an oxygen tank behind the seat in his truck which he used while driving. But he waited until he was far enough away from the company parking lot to be sure no one would see before he began using it on the way home.

He didn’t leave for lunch because he would lose the parking space, and he was too weak to carry a sack lunch from his truck to his office, which was about 10 feet from the front door. So, he waited until everyone else had left for lunch and went to the break room, a few steps away, to get a package of snack crackers and a soft drink. The only other times he left his desk were to go to the bathroom and when he had to attend a meeting.

Meetings were held in a conference room on the second floor; there was no elevator. So, he would make an excuse to go upstairs an hour early. When no one was around to see, he would slowly make his way up the stairs and sit down in the conference room so that he could recover his breath before anyone else came in for the meeting.

One Friday in March 2005, he came home and told me that he had good news and bad news. The good news was that management called a meeting that afternoon and announced to the surprise of everyone, including him, that they had decided to do some restructuring. Beginning on Monday he would hold a newly formed position over international sales. After the meeting he was informed of the amount of the substantial raise that went with his promotion. Of course, I was so excited for him.

Then he told me the bad news. He would be managing two groups of employees. Over the weekend, his office was being moved upstairs where one group was already located. The second group would be a new group they were going to form, which would be downstairs. He said, “Alice, honey, I am so sorry. But, I can’t handle going up and down those stairs every day.” That Friday was his last day at work.

On Monday morning he went on sick leave, which extended into short-term disability, and then permanent disability. Of course, at the time he went on permanent disability he lost his group health benefits. Again, he was forced to turn to the V.A.

Seeing God

8/16/2005, Tuesday

Dear Journal,

We went to a nearby Veteran’s Service Office to try and get my husband set up on V.A. health benefits. The Service Officer we talked to implied that our income is too high. But, he said that if we gathered all of the records of our medical expenses for all three of us for the past year and took them to the V.A. hospital downtown they might approve him for prescriptions which, of course,  would include oxygen.

We immediately began praying and I stayed up all night getting everything together. When we arrived at the hospital the next morning we were directed to a desk where a woman asked for his DD-214 (discharge) and said to have a seat and wait for his name to be called. When they finally called his name, the woman handed him back his DD-214 and asked if he needed to see a doctor that day. It turned out that when he applied back in 2002 his approval for benefits was not, as we had thought, contingent upon him being evaluated by a V.A. doctor. The appointment was only to start his benefits, i.e. getting prescription refills, because he was approved.

The significance of that is that in January 2003 the V.A. regulations for accepting new patients changed. My husband is a ‘category 8’ patient. Under the new regulations the V.A. is no longer accepting category 8 patients. To receive approval now, he would have to establish by medical records that his condition is catastrophic thereby moving him to category 4. This is what the Service Officer was hoping would at least get him prescription coverage. Because he was approved before the change he was ‘grandfathered in’ and entitled to full benefits.

If this isn’t evidence of God solving our problems before they arise, I don’t know what would be. It’s also evidence of Romans 8:28 – And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

It was necessary for my husband to lose his health insurance so that he would apply for his V.A. benefits before January 2003. ~ Alice

It was also important for us to move to Texas. The V.A. hospital here was the only V.A. hospital in the country that was involved in C.O.P.D. research in partnership with Methodist Hospital and Baylor University. He was immediately accepted into their research program which gave him priority status. He received the most advanced treatments and care available for his condition in addition to be being able to choose the research studies he was comfortable participating in. He received remarkable care that he would not have received anywhere else.

God is always on top of things; and His providence, His will, is always in the best interest of His children. He frequently accomplishes His will by engineering our circumstances, and His timing is perfect. From God’s perspective, the first priority for my husband in 2002 was getting him approved for V.A. benefits to meet his future need. The new job had to wait until that was accomplished. God used the time in the interim to prepare me for moving to Texas. I don’t believe that the timing of my husband applying for benefits and applying with the company in Texas was coincidental.

Several months before my husband went on sick leave his doctor and I became concerned that he was pushing himself toward a stroke because his blood-oxygen level was dangerously low even when he was at rest and using oxygen. As I said, he was determined to continue working for as long as he possibly could. I believe God had a hand in that promotion because it was time for my husband to quit.

On A Different Note

From the day I arrived at our home in Texas I have loved it here. I found the people to be friendly and courteous, and we had no problem finding a church home. I have seen sand at the coast but everywhere else I’ve been I’ve seen plenty of grass, which makes sense since Texas has lots of cattle ranches. The water, at least where we live, is fine. As far as the trees go, a friend from California recently visited for the first time. Upon turning into our neighborhood, she remarked, “There are so many trees! It’s like you folks live in a forest.”  I know it’s not like that in every neighborhood, particularly in the major cities, but Texas does have ‘real’ trees.

In light of my initial objections to Texas, I think it is so special that God provided me with home in a neighborhood in a forest!

I now consider Texas my home, and I’m proud to be a Texan.

What Do God And A 2-Year-Old Have In Common?

2/22/2002, Friday

Dear Journal,

So much has happened since my last entry; I hardly know where to begin.

On 2/6 my husband’s employer announced that the business was for sale and would close 2/22 if there were no viable offers by then. He is unemployed as of today.

We went to Batesville, Mississippi, last weekend about a job. It was a good trip and the meeting with the owner went well. The job is his if he wants it. However, he would be supervising and training seven people – some are upstairs, and some are downstairs. There is no elevator; so, he would be going up and down stairs every day. Since he has C.O.P.D. (chronic obstructive pulmonary disease) this is not a viable option. However, he is reluctant to turn it down with no other prospects

2/27/2002, Wednesday

We’ve prayed. We’ve called our prayer partners and everyone else we could think of that we were sure would pray about our situation and considered their responses. We’ve ‘sought wise counsel’ from the church elders. We’ve discussed it, and we’ve read “How to Listen to God” by Charles Stanley to help us discern God’s voice in our dilemma. We all three remain convinced that it would be a mistake for him to take the job.  Today, he made the call and declined. We’re quite calm – not at all in a panic.

3/3/2002, Sunday

On 2/27, as the day wore on he became more and more convinced that we made the wrong decision. He expected God to bring him the “right” job that day, after he turned down the “wrong” job. When that didn’t happen, he panicked. I repeatedly reassured him.

On 2/28, as the day wore on I became more and more convinced we made the wrong decision. That was the day I expected God to bring him the “right” job, and when it didn’t happen I panicked. Our son pointed out that it is not unusual for God to wait until the last minute to provide.

Every night from 2/6 until 2/28 I slept like a baby. My husband barely slept at all. That night I barely slept and by the next morning I was sure we were wrong. But, he had slept like a baby that night and was confident we had made the right decision. He even reassured me with scriptures. And so, we’ve gone back and forth.

Today he is nervous, but we’re both calming down. Prayer, Bible reading, and encouraging each other helps a lot.

3/4/2002, Monday

With no job prospects, he is almost sick with concern. I’ve reminded him of our reasons for making the decision we did. I pray with him, and for him. I read scriptures with him, and on my own. Still, this is a scary time. Where is the peace?

3/11/2002, Monday

I did find the peace that evening. The peace is with God.

When I went over and over in my mind all the reasons everyone said, “That job just seems so perfect for you guys,” I feel panic stricken and confident we made the wrong decision. I found the peace when I came to the place where I could say, “the decision has been made and cannot be changed; so, there’s nothing to be gained by focusing on all the reasons it seemed so right. Now I need to focus on “where do we go from here?” From here we go with God. He has a plan for us from where we are now, and He’ll bring it to pass in His perfect time.

Not allowing myself to dwell on what might have been at Batesville has made it easier for me to focus on God and receive His peace. The lesson here is: Once you make a decision in faith, don’t look back.

From mid-March through the end of April he had other interviews, but no job offers. During that time some who had been praying for us began expressing their own doubts about our decision not to take the job at Batesville, although they were not yet aware of his C.O.P.D. diagnosis. We were running out of money. Our choices were to spend the last of it on the expenses to stay where we were for another month, leaving us with no resources for anything after that, or use it to put our belongings in storage and move in with someone to reduce costs. After a lot of praying and discussion we decided to stay put.

I wish I could say that throughout that time we remained calm and at peace, but we didn’t. We flip-flopped between total confidence in God and worrying about what would happen if we ran out of money and still didn’t have a job. The scriptures that helped us the most were Matthew 7:7-11.

On May 24, we were down to the end of our money when he reached an agreement with a company in Texas starting June 1. The second lesson in all of this is: Don’t focus on your circumstances. Focusing on circumstances and trying to predict future outcomes of possible scenarios is a waste of time and energy.

Both of the above lessons are tough to learn, but the experience definitely strengthened our confidence in God. We were blessed to have each other for encouragement when we faltered. Also, our faithful prayer partners were invaluable in helping us refocus on God, who had the solution, whenever we both allowed our focus to shift to the problem.

People are God’s number one priority and we are social creatures by His design. The third lesson in all of this is: Don’t neglect relationships – marital, biological and social. It is not only for our benefit to receive support when we need it, but for us to also be that faithful prayer partner and supportive spouse, son, daughter, or friend. It is God’s plan for us to help each other along by bearing one another’s burdens.

So, what do God and a 2-year-old have in common? Aside from the fact that they can both try your patience, for each of them time is not a factor.

When my son was 2 years old he began insisting on doing things for himself. He could feed himself, and dress himself, with the exceptions of buttons, draw strings, and shoe laces. Of course, it took him longer to feed himself than it would have taken me to feed him – not to mention the mess. Of course, dressing himself took longer than it would have taken me to dress him. But a 2-year-old has no conception of time; it just doesn’t exist for them. Any effort on my part to assist in an attempt to speed things up was met with a frown and a firm, “No! I can do it” or “Let me!”

I remember one Sunday morning when we were on our way to church, running late. My husband asked, “Alice, why is that all of a sudden we can’t seem to get out the door on time?’ My reply was simply, “Because you can’t rush a 2-year-old.” Since doing it themselves is an important part of early childhood development, the best I could do was to remind myself that he would accomplish the task, patiently encourage him along when he got distracted, and make appropriate adjustments time-wise to my own schedule.

God created time for man’s benefit; it is irrelevant to Him. He keeps the entire universe perfectly orchestrated. He knows the perfect timing of every natural event, and exactly when to interact in the life of each of His children. Our fretting, calculating, and speculating, in other words worrying, will not hurry up the timing of God’s response to our problem. The best we can do is patiently focus on the present and trust Him, moment-by-moment.

When a 2-year-old is finished feeding and dressing himself he will be ready to go, irrespective of how long that takes. God is always present and working behind the scenes and when the time is right by His standard He will answer, irrespective of how long that takes.

It’s all about patience.

James 1:3,4 knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.

REMINDER!!!

Deuteronomy 11:2-3a, 7, 19

I started out writing my family’s ‘God Stories’ to put in a binder, making them easier to share and easier for future generations to add their stories to our family’s Christian Heritage. Then God led me to start this blog with the goal of encouraging others to recall and record their stories for the benefit of their families.

Your Stories Are Important

Recently, someone commented to me in a private conversation, “I can’t write like you can.” About the same time, The Epoch Times printed an article by Barbara Danza titled What’s Your Story? in which she interviewed Linda Olson, author of Your Story Matters: Own Your Story, and Tell It With Clarity, Confidence & Impact.[i]

The article and Ms. Olson’s book are not about ‘God Stories’, but about life stories. However, I think the following quotes from the article may be helpful to anyone who feel’s inadequate about writing their ‘God Stories’.

THE EPOCH TIMES: What benefits are there to sharing our story?

 MS. OLSON: There are many benefits to sharing our story, but it often comes down to three main benefits.

First, story is the number one way we connect with people. When told well, a story will grab our attention and draw us in to what the speaker or person is saying.

Second, story is the number one way to influence or impact someone. We can share many facts and figures, but nothing will make the impact like a great story or testimonial.

Third, story is the number one way someone experiences you. The more vulnerable we are, the more someone will experience us, especially when our story impacts them.

THE EPOCH TIMES: What is the very first step you’d recommend someone take in trying to assemble their story?

MS. OLSON: I suggest reflecting on your life and writing down the turning points, in other words, the significant things that happened in life that created a shift in your direction, in your thoughts, in your life.

The ’24-Hour Rule’

I would also recommend applying the ’24-hour rule’.

The brain is divided into two hemispheres – right side and left side. The right side of the brain is the creative, imaginative side; the left side is the logical, analytical side. When you’re writing the right, imaginative/creative, side of your brain is in control. Editing is a function of the left, logical/ analytical, side of the brain. You cannot effectively edit what you’ve written soon after you’ve written it because the right side will automatically take back over. Switching from right side thinking to left side thinking isn’t like flipping a switch. Since most of our daily activities are guided by the left side of our brain, engaging in those activities is the easiest way to disengage the right side.

Try prayerfully writing one of your ‘God Stories’- if you haven’t already written it, your salvation experience would be a good one to start with, and put it aside for 24 hours. Then prayerfully read it with the mindset of editing it. As you are editing the right side will become engaged, though not really in control. The more edits you make the more engaged it becomes.  So, once you’ve made all of the edits and you have it like you want it, put it aside for another 24 hours; then prayerfully read it again. Do that for as many times as it takes. Give God time to guide you in the wording; after all it is about Him. When you read it with the mindset of editing and you see nothing that needs to be changed, then it’s done.

I hope this helps.

And know ye this day: for I speak not with your children which have not known, and which have not seen the chastisement of the Lord your God, his greatness, his mighty hand, and his stretched out arm, and his miracles, and his acts,

But your eyes have seen all the great acts of the Lord which he did.

And ye shall teach them your children, speaking of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.

Deuteronomy 11:2-3a, 7, 19

[i] The Epoch Times, B2, May 7-13, 2020,

The 4th Watch – God’s Time

5/30/2019, Thursday

Dear Journal,

God is amazing. His timing is amazing. His guidance through the leading of the Holy Spirit is amazing. My circumstances would be dramatically different if I had been paying attention sooner. That said, my life has become more amazing than I could have even imagined.

I have friends my age and older who are retired and/or disabled who spend their time doing whatever it is they need or want to do, but they are always available to help someone. Their availability allows God to use them at a moment’s notice to meet someone’s need.

They do things like taking people to doctor appointments, delivering meals-on-wheels, meeting someone at the hospital in a time of crisis, helping people through the paperwork to get on the waiting list for government housing for low income seniors and people with disabilities, and the list goes on and on. I have had a deep desire to live that way for a long time, but I cannot afford to retire.

God has blessed me with a job that I enjoy, and I can be paid for more hours than I actually work. My dilemma has been how to manage my time to ensure that I meet my financial goals and my employer’s requirements in a way that would allow me to be available for God to use me to help people. I’ve tried several time managements tools and techniques, including time blocking. However, nothing I have tried effectively accomplished all three aspects of my goal. God’s answer to my prayers about this was to wake me up at 3:00 A.M.

Initially, I didn’t understand why God thought we needed to talk at 3:00 A.M. But, I soon realized that during that time He guides me in planning my day, most of which is left open for His purposes. That means that I have peace with whatever happens because it is in His hands. My days have become more productive in general, and I am less stressed. Also, I’m not wasting time worrying about things. God has begun managing my time.

When God wakes me up at 3:00 A.M., from then until 6:00 A.M. He speaks to me. Not in an audible voice from out of nowhere. But through the Holy Spirit within me. He gives me an awareness of the things I need to know that day. He gives me guidance about decisions I need to make, who I need to witness to and the approach I need to take, etc. The clarity that comes to my mind during that time is remarkable.

Throughout the day I have no trouble discerning when I need to focus on my job, when I need to study to address a question from someone I’ve been witnessing to or that I’m discipling, and when I need to make myself available to meet someone’s need.

Also, when I need to study to answer someone’s question, He guides me to the scriptures that apply as well as in the wording of the explanation and how it applies to that person. I am learning so much!

In a recent Sunday School class discussion, it was mentioned that 3:00 to 6:00 A.M. was the “4th   watch” in Bible times, and it was frequently the time that God acted in a miraculous way to help His people. It is symbolic of when a person has reached the end of their resources and only God’s intervention can solve their problem. It is sometimes referred to as “God’s time”.

I don’t have an alarm set for 3:00 o’clock. I let God wake me up. However, I do try to go to bed early enough so that when He wakes me I can get up and be alert to what He wants me to know. And, I usually take a 15 to 20-minute power nap at lunch time. ~ Alice

NOTE: God does not give me visions or revelations. He simply gives me guidance by way of clarity and understanding, through the Holy Spirit that is within me.

One common example would be my daily ‘to-do-list’. At the end of each day I take stock of what I did and did not accomplish, and what is on my calendar for the next day. From that I make my next day’s ‘to-do-list’. Then I prioritize the items on the list in a logical order. Sometimes, when I wake up at 3:00 o’clock I immediately know that the list is wrong. I usually don’t know why it needs to be changed. I may just know something in particular should be postponed, or I may have a strong sense of urgency about something I had planned to put off, or it may just be that the list needs to be prioritized differently. Usually, by the end of the day the significance of the change(s) becomes clear.

A significant amount of that three hours is spent reading, memorizing, and studying scriptures. See Spirit Led Bible Study, and How God Speaks to Me.

From 3:00 to 6:00 A.M. is my favorite time of the day.

God’s Peace

Philippians 4:9 Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you.

My late husband was saved and baptized in a small country church in South Arkansas when he was twelve years old. His father didn’t attend church; it was his mother who faithfully took him to Sunday School and church every Sunday from the time he was a toddler until he got into High School. Once he got into High School, he followed his father’s example and dropped out of church.

For the first 15 years of our marriage he only went to church with me occasionally, when I pushed him into it. The birth of our son turned him around completely. His greatest fear was that our son might grow up and live his entire life without ever coming to know Jesus.

Our son was born three months premature in the dead of winter – on Thanksgiving Day, and weighed only 3 lbs. 9 oz when we brought him home from the hospital. See the Best Present I Ever Got. The pediatrician cautioned us to keep him home until late Spring, after the cold and flu season was well passed, as any respiratory condition could be fatal. As soon as it was deemed safe, the three of us began attending every service, every week.

My husband quickly noticed how familiar many of the men were with the scriptures; so, he started reading his Bible. The problem was that he didn’t understand a lot of what he was reading; so, we began reading together. He started making a list of any questions I couldn’t answer and arranged for the Pastor to meet with us one evening to answer them. That continued almost weekly for some time, then the frequency tapered off as we both gained understanding.

We relocated a few times in connection with his job, and his first priority in a new community was finding a new church home. So, through the years he was mentored by other Pastors and older Christian men, and he continued to increase in his knowledge and understanding of the scriptures. His faith grew stronger as his relationship with the Lord grew deeper, and he served as a Sunday School teacher, a lay speaker on a rotational basis during Sunday morning worship services, and at one church he taught the 5th and 6th grade class in Discovery Bible Club on Wednesday nights.

I don’t recall exactly when, but at some point before our first relocation, he bought a Bible to keep in his desk and started going to work an hour early to have a personal quiet time with the Lord before work. This opened the door for many witnessing opportunities. Co-workers coming in before he finished noticed. Soon, people began coming to him with their questions about the Bible and Christianity, with prayer requests, and seeking advice. That continued everywhere he worked.

Throughout those years his decision making process was, generally speaking, to pray about the situation and then wait. He made his decision when God gave him peace about what he should do.

Then came a day when I had to have an emergency surgery. See “The Outpatient Surgery That Almost Killed Me – Twice, Part 2”. Following that surgery, the doctor told him, “I did all that I could for her, but there was very little that I could do. She’s in God’s hands.” My husband’s reply was, “She always has been.”

On Friday, four weeks later I had shown no signs of improvement and the plan was to take me off life support the following Monday. Of course, word spread fast throughout the church and a group of the men went to the hospital to be with my husband and son. One man asked my husband, “How are you handling this?” They told me his response was, “I don’t want to lose her, of course. But I know that she’s ready. I know where she’s going, and I will see her again. So, if God chooses to take her now, I can accept that.”

It was his spiritual growth before the trial that carried him through the trial, and gave him peace – the peace of God, enabling him to say, “I can accept that.”

Spiritual growth is the single most important aspect of a believer’s life. It, or the lack of it, determines the extent to which one can be used by the Lord in His service. It also establishes the measure by which one is able to benefit from all that our Father offers us – i.e. wisdom, understanding, assurance, strength, peace, etc. Nothing compares to a life focused on walking with Jesus, and having the absolute peace of God in any situation.

Getting to Know My Abba Father

This post is based on a lesson I presented to a Ladies Auxiliary group in 2003.

Proverbs 3:5 Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not unto thine own understanding.

First, I’m going to tell you about some of my failures.

Many years ago, when I had an accounting practice, a lady came in to get her income tax return prepared. It was, of course, the busiest time of year for an accountant, and my mind was on business. Suddenly she said, “Your looking at a dead person.” My mind froze, and I know shock was all over my face. The woman, in her thirties, was terminally ill with cancer. The doctors had given her 3 months. I know I said, “I’m sorry” but beyond that I don’t recall what I said – maybe nothing. I finished getting the information I needed to prepare her return, told her it would be ready in a couple of weeks, and she left.

That meeting stayed on my mind and later that day I thought, “Why didn’t I ask if she’s ready to face eternity? What an incredible opportunity I had to witness to her, and I blew it.” I resolved to witness to her when she came in to pick up her return and I put a note on her file that I needed to see her when she came in.  Then I rehearsed in my mind exactly what I was going to say to her. Unfortunately, three days later I read her obituary in the paper. There was no mention of a church.

The lesson I learned from this experience is that I must always be prepared to witness at any time, because every opportunity I have to witness to someone could be that person’s last opportunity to be saved. Having rehearsed what I was going to say to her, I felt confident that I would never miss another opportunity.

Fast forward a few years. It was the end of the last day of a week-long Vacation Bible School. A little girl about nine years old had attended every day. She had never been to our church before that week. She looked up at me and said, “If a person was baptized when they were a baby, are they saved?” I said, “No, in order to be saved the Bible teaches that a person must put their faith in Jesus. A baby can’t do that. Were you baptized as a baby?” She nodded yes, and I thought, “she needs to talk to the Youth Minister.”

I spotted him across the room surrounded by children, and I told her, “You need to talk to that man over there. Come on, I’ll go with you.” Unfortunately, before we could get to him her mother arrived to take her home. I never saw her again.

I knew I could have led her to salvation myself, but I had felt timid and somehow inadequate with the Youth Minister right there. The lesson I learned from this is that I must not hesitate under any circumstances, and I resolved to be bolder.

One evening a woman I barely knew called me to relay a message. Then she started talking about all of her health problems. She told me that her parents and grandparents all died in their late fifties and she was already fifty herself. She was sure she didn’t have many years left. I knew she wasn’t saved. In the past she had said that she wasn’t a Christian and she believed that there are many ways to get to heaven. I was ready to witness to her, but I didn’t want to offend her. I was afraid that if I offended her she wouldn’t listen to what I had to say. Then my mind went blank. I didn’t say anything, the conversation ended, and she hung up. I tried to make another opportunity to talk to her, but it didn’t happen.

I thought about the first time I blew it with someone facing death. I thought about how I had rehearsed in my mind exactly what I needed to say and how confident I had been that the next time I met someone in that position I would be ready. But this lady was basically in that position, and I didn’t remember any of what I had rehearsed. There was a gap of a few years between the two opportunities, but I had never forgotten my client that died. Also, I knew my real hesitation was that I had felt timid and inadequate. I was shy about witnessing. Yet, I remembered the little girl and my resolve at that time to never hesitate; to be bold about witnessing. So, what went wrong this time? Why did I blow it again? What lesson did I need to learn from this experience? I didn’t know.

I don’t want you to think I was a total failure during that time. I went to church three times every week, I took sermon notes, some mornings I spent some time reading scriptures – if not, I would read a daily devotional, and I prayed every day. I had a reputation as a solid Christian woman. Many people came to me for advice and council, and I was always careful to give sound advice based upon scriptures. My failures were always with the most critical cases; the cases where some poor lost soul was at a crucial point and reaching out.

Now I want to tell you about my mother.

Mother was one of those incredible Christians who are always ready to give an answer for the hope that is within them. When she was employed there wasn’t a week that went by that she didn’t witness or minister to someone, and quite often more than one person. I always admired her for how well she handled those situations but I was frustrated by how often I didn’t handle them well. I knew she read her Bible and prayed every day, but I just figured she had a “knack” for it, and I didn’t.

For many years we lived too far apart for me to see my parents frequently, or even on a regular basis. So, I called them every Sunday afternoon. Sometimes, I talked to Dad a few minutes, but I always talked to Mother an hour or two. We talked until neither of us could think of anything else to say.

First, we talked about important things – how everybody’s doing and any events of the week. Then we talked about things that were more “distant” to me. This is when she would tell me all about people I didn’t know. This is when I found out who she witnessed or ministered to that week. Then we worked our way down to what would be considered trivial things.

The trivial things were things like new flowers that had bloomed along the gravel road where she took her morning walks, and the butterfly that landed on the windowsill by her chair while she was having her quiet time. And, when she told me these things she always said something like, “And when I saw it, I said thank-you Father for urging me to walk this morning when I didn’t really want to, so I could see your beautiful flowers” or, “for that little encouragement” She told me how God reminded her to check the food in the oven when she got busy and forgot it; and when she ran to see about it, it was ready and not burned. And, she told me, “and I said, “Oh, thank you Father for reminding me. What would I have done if I had let it burn?”

One day, sometime before I began studying the Bible with God – see Spirit Led Bible Study, during the trivial part of the conversation I thought, “Mother must pray a hundred times a day.” Then it hit me. I was praying every day, sometimes several times a day, but Mother was praying all day. She might not have been praying without ceasing, but she was whole lot closer to it than I was.

Praying is communicating with God. It can be formal – eyes closed, head bowed, hands clasped together; or it can be just talking to God. I know Mother prayed formal prayers every day, but mostly she just talked to God all through the day every day.

Now I want to tell you how changing my prayer habits impacted my life.

Those we choose to spend time with are the ones we bond with. As we continue spending time together, the deeper the bond grows. I discovered that applies to God, too. The more I talked to God throughout the day – much like I would talk to a friend, the closer I felt to Him.

Romans 8:15 – For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear, but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba Father.

Abba is an Aramaic word meaning father. In this verse father is translated from the Greek word pater. Pater is more formal than abba, which is more like daddy. Everyone is created by God, but not everyone is a child of God. Only those who have received the spirit of adoption can know God as Abba Father. Talking to God all day about even the trivial things helped me develop a deeper relationship with Him as my Abba Father.

Then one day I got a call from a woman I’d never met looking for information about homeschooling. We had a nice conversation, I answered all of her questions, and the next thing I knew she was pouring her heart out to me. As soon as she started I thought, “Oh Father, help me.” Then I just listened to her. When she finished telling me all about it, I heard myself saying all the right things in the kindest way. It wasn’t what she necessarily wanted to hear, but it was what she needed to hear. As soon as I hung up I prayed, “Thank you, Father! I would have never remembered all of that myself.” Suddenly, I understood so much. I knew why I had been failing. I had been learning the wrong lessons.

When I failed to witness to my client that was dying, I concluded that it was because I was not prepared. While it is important that we be prepared to witness, I suddenly understood that I had been prepared. I had been regular in church, paying attention during the sermons, and reading my Bible, or Christian devotional, every day. I had in my brain all the information that woman needed. So, being prepared wasn’t the lesson I needed to learn that day

When I failed with the little girl at Vacation Bible School, I knew I had been too timid, but resolving to be bold was not the answer.

Jeremiah 13:23 – Can the Ethiopian change his skin, or the leopard his spots?

A person who by nature tends to be timid cannot just decide to not be timid. They can work to overcome their timidity, but if you ask someone in that position they’ll tell you it’s always lurking beneath the surface. Again, I learned the wrong lesson.

When I failed with the lost woman that called me to relay a message and then shared with me her fears about dying, it was because I had not learned the right lesson in the past. So, what was the right lesson?

Proverbs 3:5 – Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not unto thine own under-standing.

I had been leaning on my own understanding, which is to say that I had been trusting in myself to have the presence of mind, and muster the courage, to speak up. In some cases, I was trusting in my own ability to perceive where that person was in life – physically, emotionally, and spiritually, and the wisdom to know what that person needed to hear at that moment. And, whenever I failed, I was depending on myself to get it right the next time. What I really needed to do was trust in the Lord.

When I prayed, “Oh Father, help me”, I put that situation in His hands. When I just listened without trying to figure out what I should say, I left it in His hands. Then when the moment came for me to respond, He brought to my mind the words that woman needed to hear at that time, and He gave me the boldness to say them.

When she began pouring out her heart to me, I didn’t remember to pray. That was an instantaneous reaction. All those days of communicating all day with my Abba Father conditioned me, not only to instantly turn to Him, but also to trust Him enough to just wait and allow Him to use me to speak to her. I didn’t remind myself to be bold and speak up. It just happened. And, since then I have discovered that it works every time. God never lets me down

We’re in a spiritual battle. How much God is able to use you in His service depends, in part, on how much you trust Him, which depends on how well you know Him, which depends on how much time you spend with Him.

At the time that I was preparing to present this to the Ladies Auxiliary, I thought it only fair that I tell Mother that I was going to be talking about her. When I told her that I was going to encourage the ladies to start praying about everything all day she said, “Oh, I hope they’ll do it, because if they do they’ll find themselves on an amazing adventure!” From my own experience, I agree.

I WOULD LIKE TO ADD:

Relying on my Abba Father to speak through me solved my problem of sharing Jesus when someone opens up to me.

Sharing Jesus Without Fear by William Fay and Ralph Hodge changed my life as a witness for Christ when it’s up to me to broach the subject. It presents a simple, conversational approach for providing anyone, anywhere, at any time with the opportunity to be saved, without putting pressure on them, by allowing God to speak for Himself through His Word. It’s a non-controversial approach because it doesn’t involve me telling them what I believe and what’s wrong with what they believe. I highly recommend it.

How God Speaks to Me

I was asked to give a testimony about the importance of the WORD at a ladies retreat. Years ago, I wrote my testimony about salvation, and I’ve shared it publicly. But, I had never thought about my testimony regarding the importance of the WORD. I’m glad I was called upon to do it.

2 Timothy 3:16, 17 All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness: that the man of God may be perfect [complete, mature], throughly furnished [fully equipped] unto all good works.

I was brought up in Church. I was taught from childhood that the Bible is the method by which God chose to reveal Himself to us in a meaningful way – a way that we can understand, so that we can come to know Him on a deeper and more intimate level after we are saved.

I was also taught that everything we need to know about salvation, and our spiritual walk is covered in the Bible. His WORD gives us instructions about how we are to conduct ourselves in every aspect of our life – through childhood, in marriage, as parents, in business, as members of society, and as His disciples. The answers to all of life’s important questions, and guidance for all of the decisions we face are in the Bible.

I have always believed these things.

I was saved when I was 14 years old, and for the next 25, or so, years my biggest spiritual dilemma was how to find the answers to my life’s important questions. As you know, there is no book in the Bible named “The Book of Alice” containing the answers to my specific questions and life decisions. Out of 66 books, 1,189 chapters, 783,131 total words, written in a time when life was very different from today, how was I supposed to find the answer to any question or decision that I was facing in a timely manner?

When I posed that question to my Pastor at the time, he told me that is why it is so important to spend time everyday prayerfully reading and studying God’s WORD. The more time I spend in the WORD the better I will understand it, and the Holy Spirit will reveal the answers to me.

He was absolutely right. I just wish it hadn’t taken me so long to “get it”.

During most of that 25 or so years I did not usually have a morning quiet time. My quiet times came in spurts whenever it weighed heavy on me because I knew I was supposed to. The main reason was because all I got out of reading my Bible was what was printed on the page in front of me, which frequently did not easily relate to my day-to-day life. However, not spending time alone with God, reading His WORD, on a daily basis was the biggest mistake of my life. It was during that time that I made some major decisions that changed the course of my life for the worse.

When God speaks to me personally, it is by the still, small voice of the Holy Spirit within me. It is as a thought that can easily be ignored or misunderstood if I’m not attuned to God.

Of course, I prayed for God’s guidance when I was making those decisions. I considered the pros and cons of my options, and made what I believed were the wisest choices. Looking back, I clearly remember, each time, the moment the Holy Spirit gave me direction. Unfortunately, I didn’t recognize it as such because I was not attuned to God. In some cases, I dismissed it completely, in others I perceived to be my own thought of a possible option, which I eliminated during my evaluation of all of my options.

I made two other mistakes that go hand-in-hand with each other. I dismissed the importance of memorizing scripture, and I failed to consider the distinction between reading and studying. Memorizing scripture involves repetition – repeatedly reading it, writing it, and saying it; it requires focus. Studying requires searching the scriptures, contemplation and reflection. Both require time in addition to reading, which requires planning and commitment. But I have found memorizing and studying to be the keys by which the Holy Spirit unlocks the deeper meanings of the scriptures, and guides me to the answers I’m seeking.

In the first issue of the Church’s newsletter I wrote about how in the mid-1990’s I asked God to teach me the way He taught George Muller and countless others in the past when there were no seminaries and Bible colleges. Yes, I have gained a deeper understanding of many passages and that understanding has impacted my Christian walk. But the greatest benefit of my time spent with God studying the WORD is how much better I know Him and how much stronger my relationship with Him has become.

As I came to know Him better and I grew closer to Him my perspective about things changed. It became easier for me to see things from His perspective. For example, certain irritating people stopped being an irritation to me; instead I realized that they were hurting, or struggling and needed forgiveness, prayers, and compassion.

Here’s another, more specific example of how my perspective changed. On February 6, 2001 our phone rang at 6:30 AM. My husband answered it. At our house calls at odd hours are typically not good news. So, I was standing nearby waiting to find out who called and the reason. He said, “That was my boss. The company is closing the office here and letting everyone go effective on the 22nd. My immediate reaction was, “Praise the Lord!”

He looked very confused and asked, “Why?” I said, “Honey, don’t you see? God is working in our life. I can hardly wait to see where He’s leading us!” I was excited about a new adventure with God. There was a time when my immediate reaction would’ve been far from “Praise the Lord!”

From the time I was saved, before I started really spending time with God and really studying His WORD, I would not have hesitated to say that I trusted God completely; and I did. But, it isn’t hard to trust Him completely when there isn’t much you need to trust Him for. I am so glad that my relationship with Him developed so much deeper than it was back then, before my husband became disabled; before I had an outpatient surgery that went horribly wrong requiring months in the hospital, 9 additional surgeries and a four-year recovery period; before my son became disabled; before my husband died and within weeks I broke both arms; and before I needed to take care of my Mother until she died; all within a 10-year period, and all the while struggling financially. God kept me at peace and carried me through all of that.

A close friend once commented, “With all you’ve been through, I’ve never seen you without a smile on your face.” God is the reason for that. That’s not to say that I never cried or grieved; of course, I did. But even with all that I was going through, my world was fine because it was all in God’s hands.

Here’s an example of getting an answer to a question relevant to real life today that also gives us a glimpse of God. In our adult Sunday School class, someone brought up the question of whether divorce is a sin in cases of abuse when there has been no infidelity. Everyone agreed that the Bible is clear that the only reason for divorce that is acceptable to God is infidelity. No one, myself included, wanted to say that divorce is okay in cases of abuse, but no one wanted to say that a person being abused by their spouse should remain in the marriage, either. The question lingered in the back of my mind for days, until finally, during my quiet time one morning I got the answer.

 When God gave Moses the 10 Commandments He said, “Thou shalt not bear false witness.” We all know it’s a sin to lie. He didn’t say one word about exceptions for extenuating circumstances. But, Rahab lied at Jericho and God blessed her for it; so much so that she is in the ancestral lineage of Christ, because her lie was in the best interest of His people.

With God the best interest of His people is of paramount importance. The ultimate proof of that is the fact that He sacrificed His Son to redeem us.

When a believer divorces an abusive spouse, in the absence of infidelity, it is a sin. However, their sin has already been forgiven. While it is not generally acceptable to God for believers to go around sinning because their sins have all been forgiven, in this case, as with Rahab’s lie, the sin is in the best interest of His child. He does not have a problem with it.

If the person is not a believer, it really doesn’t matter because God has a much bigger problem with them than that.

Since we know by his own admission that the Apostle Paul didn’t always get it right, you know that I certainly don’t. I’m not trying to suggest otherwise. My point is that the WORD is the root of my spiritual growth. It is God’s primary means of communicating with me, and it’s what enables me to be sensitive to that still, small voice of the Holy Spirit within me. I would say that is the importance of the WORD.

Spirit Led Bible Study

This post was originally an article titled Featured Senior – Alice Abernathy in our church’s first newsletter September 2018.

John 16:13 Howbeit when he, the Spirit of Truth, is come, he will guide you into all truth.

1 John 2:27 But the anointing which ye have received of him abideth in you, and ye need not that any man teach you: but as the same anointing teacheth you of all things

A major turning point in my spiritual growth was when I started studying the Bible only with the Lord. In the mid-1990’s, when I had been a believer for about 30 years, I was having daily quiet times, but I was still struggling with how to get off the “milk” and into the “meat.” Without going to a commentary, unless I remembered a sermon or Sunday School lesson from the past, all I got from reading my Bible was what was printed on the page in front of me. After reading the Autobiography of George Muller, I was pondering the question of how people who lived before there were any seminaries or Bible colleges came to have such a deep understanding of the scriptures and such strong faith. Who taught them? I’ll spare you the details of that long and winding road, but it led to me remembering John 16:13 and I John 2:27. I realized God taught them Himself!

The question then became, “What would prevent God from teaching me the way He taught all those other people?” Two thoughts came to my mind. One, I never asked Him to. And, two, even if I asked Him to, He can’t teach me if I don’t give Him the opportunity. With that thought I understood that if I wanted God to teach me I would have to spend sufficient time with Him every day, and I would have to be willing to wait on Him. I can ask Him my questions as they come up during my study time, but I cannot require Him to give me an immediate answer. I would have to let Him answer in His own time and in His own way. Then I prayed and told God that I was putting away all of my commentaries and devotionals. From now on it would just be me and Him with His Word, Strong’s Concordance and a dictionary. And, I asked him to please teach me the same way He taught them. (Twenty years later I re-read the Autobiography of George Muller; and that’s what he did, too.)

Shortly before that I came across a Bible study plan that appealed to me, but I had not yet implemented. It has me write the verse and underline all of the key words. Then look them up in Strong’s or a dictionary and write down the definitions, even if I already know the definitions. (Many words have several meanings and the most common meaning may not be the appropriate meaning in light of the context of the verse.) Then I would paraphrase the verse by writing it again, substituting the definitions for the key words. Next, I would write the answer to three questions:

  1. What is this verse saying to me?
  2. Where am I going wrong?
  3. What am I going to do about it?

So, I bought a spiral notebook, picked a book of the Bible, and read the book all the way through to get the big picture. Then I started with Chapter 1, verse 1, memorizing as I went along doing the study. It was going well until I got to the third page of the book where I came across a verse that – if it meant what it appeared to be saying, conflicted with a verse two pages back. I didn’t know how to reconcile them, so I prayed about them and put my study aside to wait for God’s answer.

As I went about my business that day those two verses stayed on my mind. I just kept pondering and praying about them. After a few hours God brought to my mind the three or four words I knew of a verse that related to the question.

I used Strong’s to find the verse, looked it up in the Bible, added it to my study notes and followed the study steps. Then I had the answer. The next time it happened it took several verses over several days. No matter how long it takes I don’t move forward until I know the answer.

Jesus said that He will guide you, and that’s exactly how it works. He uses the scriptures to guide me to the answer. The answer doesn’t pop into my mind after I pray about it. He doesn’t give me the answer in a dream, or a vision, or a sign. There’s no baritone voice from somewhere out in the cosmos.

He gives me time to ponder what I know so far. As I pray and ponder, He gives me understanding, which at first may just be refining the question. When He determines that I’m ready He brings to my mind what I need to get to the next relevant verse. So, when I get to the last relevant verse, I can clearly see how the verses fit together, they all make perfect sense and there is no conflict.

Studying with the Lord is an amazing experience. I wish I had discovered it many years earlier.

My advice to the youth and those who are young in their faith is:

  1. Don’t underestimate the importance of memorizing scriptures. It’s not about being able to recite them for the rest of your life. It’s about etching them into your memory so that God can bring them to the forefront of your mind when you need them – in your Bible study, for witnessing, and for ministering. If you’re not able to memorize every verse as you go along in your study, then each week try memorizing the key verse in your Bible study the previous week.
  2. Ask a senior to be your study partner. If the next relevant verse isn’t anywhere in your memory, yet; it probably is in theirs.

See Bible Study Partners. 

    Bible Study Partners

    This was originally a companion article to Featured Senior – Alice Abernathy published in our Church’s first newsletter, September 2018.

    Thoughts About Bible Study Partners

    by Pastor Randy Johnson

    Having read sister Alice’s Featured Senior article in advance, I wanted to share a few thoughts on the subject.

    A good Bible study partner is someone who:

    • Doesn’t mind if you call them when you’re at a place in your Bible study that you just don’t “get”.
    • If they don’t know the answer off the top of their head they’ll find it and call you back.
    • If they can’t find it they’ll call me or someone else, and then call you back.
    • When something goes wrong in your life you can call them and know that they will lift you up in prayer, and they’ll be there for you to support and encourage you.
    • Will meet with you once a week either in person or over the phone, whichever works best for the two of you.

    Their reasons for wanting to meet with you once a week are:

    • They care. They want to get to know you better. They want to hear about how your Bible study and memorization is going. But, they also want to hear about how your life is going. They will be praying for you every day and the better they know you the better they know how, specifically, to pray for you.
    • Being asked to be a study partner is an honor and a privilege. However, it’s also a responsibility that they don’t take lightly. Meeting with you once a week gives them the opportunity to encourage you by sharing their life experiences relevant to what you’re studying and whatever you may be dealing with in life. Even though they probably have never walked in your shoes, the principles that guided them and the ways the Lord has worked in their life are relevant to you, too.

    Your reasons for wanting to meet with them once a week are:

    • It will help you take your commitment to daily Bible study seriously. It’s never easy to develop a new habit, especially one that will affect your life as dramatically as learning to walk closer to God. Knowing that your study partner cares, is praying for you, and is looking forward to that time with you each week gives you a sense of accountability. You don’t want to show up and say, “I didn’t have much time to study this week”. So, you find ways to make time.
    • When your study is going well or something especially nice happened in your life that week, you want to share it with someone who really cares. They do.
    • As your study partner is getting to know you better, you’ll be getting to know them better. You’ll see that, like you, they’re not perfect; but their example of commitment to living for and serving the Lord will help you stay committed when you’re going through tough times.
    • The time you spend with your study partner will prepare you to be someone else’s study partner later on.

    See My Testimony on Bible Study.

    The Outpatient Surgery That Almost Killed Me – Twice, Part 2

    Isaiah 55:8, 9 For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.

    On the evening of January 30, 2009 something I ate for dinner didn’t agree with me and I vomited, which ruptured the site of the previous tear in my esophagus. The cardio-thoracic surgeon that saved my life on November 10, 2006 was called in for another emergency surgery. After the surgery he told my husband and son that he did all that he could for me, but there was really very little he could do. He said, “She’s in God’s hands.” My husband replied, “She always has been.”

    Two days later I developed A.R.D.S. – Adult Respiratory Distress Syndrome. My husband and son were told that 99.5% of people with that condition don’t survive. But, I was in such bad shape there was really no chance at all of my survival. I was definitely not going to make it. It might be two or three days, or two or three weeks but my major organs would all begin shutting down, and at some point in that process I would die. Again, they were advised to call the rest of the family and begin making arrangements.

    I remained in ICU on a ventilator for two weeks; then a tracheotomy was performed, and the ventilator was attached to the trach. I developed bacterial infections, pneumonia, fungal blood infections due to central lines, and a blood clot in my left leg.

    On Friday, February 27, my husband and son were informed that the only thing keeping me alive was the ventilator. My lungs had not functioned since the surgery, and they would never function again. I would never be able to live apart from the ventilator. On Monday morning there was going to be a meeting to review my case. Unless something changed over the weekend, the doctors’ recommendation was going to be to take me off life support. Nothing changed over the weekend.

    Early on Monday morning, March 2, my husband was in the room when a nurse came in to check my vitals. When she began listening to my chest her expression suddenly changed; she began rapidly moving the stethoscope around, listening. Then she suddenly dashed out of the room. She had heard movement in my lungs; they were beginning to function.

    I don’t know why God waited until the 11th hour, but He was right on time!

    I remained in ICU until weaned from the ventilator and the trach was removed. I was transferred to a room on March 20 and went home on April 7. By the end of 2010 I was fully recovered.

    The doctor told me that when he performed that emergency surgery, he did all that he could for me, but nothing he did would have been lifesaving. Again, he said that the only reason I survived was Divine intervention.

    From the moment I woke up in ICU after the initial surgery in 2006 until I went home the last time on April 7, 2009, I was at peace because of the time that God held me. However, it’s often hard to see how God is working when you’re in the middle of a situation. It’s only later, looking back, that it becomes clear. That’s why it’s important to reflect on the past. Seeing how God was working during that time, gives you greater peace and faith that God is working during your next difficulty.

    Why was it so important to God for me to live and make a full recovery? At the time I had no idea. Now, it makes sense. It wasn’t really about me so much as it was about my son. By the time my husband died in 2011 my son had become totally disabled. If I had not been here, and able to provide for him, it would have changed the course of his life. He would have been left homeless and destitute.

    God hasn’t shared with me His plans for my son. However, my son has made it known that God has called him to the ministry.

    Why did God allow that to even happen? What happened to me was the result of the doctor’s free-will choice not to take the training, which God had to allow. So, God intervened to bring me through the consequences of the doctor’s decision, fully restored.

    Even though God had to allow the Dr. to make his own free-will choice, why didn’t He intervene to prevent the tears to my esophagus and stomach? I can speculate, but only God knows.